Taking Your Offenses to God

When we get offended, its natural to want to release our hurt and let the world know how wounded we are from our offense. We are quick to put our scars on display for everyone to see and have a tendency to want to hurt our offender as much as they hurt us. We can’t let them get away with that injustice! The world has taught us to defend ourselves and stand up for what’s right. Show ’em who’s boss! So of course, that’s usually our first reaction to offense. But is that the most appropriate reaction as a Christian?

God has called His followers to be set apart from the world. Not to behave as the world does, but as He has called us to behave. His word in Romans 12:2 tells us to not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our mind.

The pattern of the world says to us when we get offended “don’t let them talk to you like that!” “they need to know you ain’t the one!” The pattern of this world would be to “clap back” and go tit for tat with our offender.

But in the end, what does that really lead to? It doesn’t actually solve anything and the only thing you have proven is that you are just as petty as your offender. You have now brought yourself to their level and now the playing field is even. Anything goes at that point and you now are fighting your own battle.

I’ve heard it said that true strength is the ability to NOT do to others the things that were done to you.

Our instinct makes it easy to respond back with the same measure of hostility we were dealt, but it takes a special type of restraint and self -control to do the opposite of what our flesh wants to do.

This is something that can only be done through the power of the Holy Spirit that dwells in us. Galatians 5:23 tells us that “…the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control”

We cannot and will not bear good fruit, if we do not allow the Holy Spirit to act as our advocate. This is why it is imperative that we take our offense to God instead of handling our offender ourselves.

We cannot and will not bear good fruit, if we do not allow the Holy Spirit to act as our advocate. Click To Tweet.

Recently, there have been several instances that I’ve had the opportunity to decide between letting my flesh control my reaction toward my offenders or letting the Spirit lead me. I can proudly say that in all of those instances I gave my offenses to God and in exchange, He gave me peace.

She has a child out of wedlock?!

I was told that a coworker of mine had been real nosey curious about me as it pertained to my marital status. I was told that this coworker was surprised by the fact that I was a single mom because I “didn’t seem like the type of person who would have a child out of wedlock” That same person began to ask more invasive questions about my son’s dad and his presence in my sons life.

When word got back to me about this conversation, I was hurt. I felt ashamed and that I was in some way unworthy because a lot of people view single moms as “damaged goods”. I felt like just another statistic and it angered me that someone would speak about me in such a way when I’d always treated them with respect and kindness.

I felt defensive and wondered if I should confront them about it, but then the Holy Spirit showed me a new perspective. I heard the Holy Spirit say to me “You’re not supposed to look the same”.

It was then that my eyes were opened and my attitude toward the whole situation changed. Instead of feeling like I was less than, or discouraged, I felt just the opposite! The Holy Spirit showed me how the power of God had transformed my life so much so, that I no longer looked like my past decisions.

I am a new creature in Christ and I am no longer supposed to look the like the same person I was all those years ago. When you have a growing relationship with Christ, you have no choice but to evolve!

If I wouldn’t have taken the time to reflect and give my hurt and offense to God, I would not have heard the Holy Spirit remind me of who I was in Christ.  I would have caused a rift between myself and my coworker and that would have been another source from which gossip could spread.

I posted about this offense on social media to let others know the new found perspective God had given me. Most people were encouraged and returned that same encouragement to me. But I remember someone commented about everything that I could do to make the person pay for what they had said about me.

I may have entertained that comment if it weren’t for the Holy Spirit living inside of me because, like I said, it’s natural to want to defend ourselves when we’ve been hurt. I kindly let that person know that I was good now and at peace with my decision to look at the situation through new lenses.

No longer would I let the words of my offender destroy my confidence or my outlook on life.

Funny thing is, now that we are in the Christmas season, I decided to participate in a secret Santa gift exchange at work and guess whose name I pulled? The SAME coworker who had been gossiping about me…go figure! LOL.

I feel like God is giving me the opportunity to show His love and kindness to that coworker and instead of being like the world (and giving them a lump of coal), I will instead show God’s love and give them a thoughtful gift just as if no offense had ever occurred.

This is how God wants us to behave. God did the same things for us in that while we were yet sinners, He gave His son, Jesus to die for us (Romans 5:8).

When we give our offenses to God, He not only gives us peace, but He gives us a PLATFORM that allows us to put His love on display so that people may come to know Him and the salvation that He offers all who seek it. So, the next time someone offends you, I challenge you to take it to God. Don’t let your flesh take away the protection and peace that God grants to us when we let him fight our battles. Show true strength by demonstrating the self-control that the Holy Spirit gives us and use it as a weapon against the offense.