“Herpes saved my life”
Welcome to another edition of the “Yet She Still Smiles” blog series!
Today I have Amber Spratt Jones A.K.A. The Confidence Queen who so graciously agreed to share her powerful testimony with the readers of The Single Mama That Could.
I first heard about Amber when she was mentioned as a life coach by a relationship coach whose work I follow. As I listened to the topics she coached, I was intrigued by the fact that she specializes in helping individuals with living with genital herpes. I also learned that she was able to assist others with this subject because she herself had first-hand experience living with this diagnosis.
Speaking about herpes or STIs may be taboo for some, but for anyone who is sexually active or plans to be, this is a pertinent conversation to have. This topic is one I feel isn’t talked about enough, especially in this sexually charged society we live in, so Amber thank you so much again for agreeing to accept this interview!
Amber makes it her mission to remove the stigma surrounding genital herpes by educating people on the subject with the knowledge she has gained while living with the virus. I hope this conversation will help propel her mission to break the stigma attached to genital herpes as she shares with us today the facts and her experiences surrounding this subject.
Let’s dive right into the conversation!
Amber, please take us through your journey from discovering your genital herpes diagnosis to becoming the inspirational, confident woman of God you are today.
I first would like to thank you for the amazing introduction & for connecting with me. It is truly an honor to share my story with you!
I will start by saying this: If God can do it for me, He can do it for anybody! The “IT” that I speak of is a word called RESTORATION. That is what my testimony is. One of restoration. And of surrendering my life to His Will.
At the end of my YouTube video that I titled, “Herpes Saved My Life”, released in December 2020, I shared the Bible verse Genesis 50:20. The New Living Translation says as follows; “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” That is what God used my herpes diagnosis as an opportunity to do. To save the lives of others because of how He first saved mine.
Let me rewind a little bit. I was diagnosed with HSV-2 (Herpes Simplex Virus) in August of 2018 after a brief fling with an IG crush. What started off as an innocent DM exchange, ended in my spirit being completely shattered in a matter of 90 days. It happened that fast. Life happens that fast.
I had been raised in the church all my life. I very much considered myself to be a Christian at the time of my herpes diagnosis. Of course, I had strayed away over the years (didn’t we all), but I felt like I knew God considering how many years I had served Him over the course of my 33 years of life at the time! What I failed to realize was that I had never taken the time to develop a relationship with Him, so when I came to the fork in the road in my life that was my herpes diagnosis, I questioned everything, including Him, His love for me, and how He could betray me.
It has been in my healing/restoration process that I have realized that my herpes diagnosis was the opportunity God gave me to enter into a REAL relationship with Him. I genuinely believe that with my whole heart. I committed to that belief and did the work on myself for the first time in my life. That belief is what gives me a peace and a confidence that I have never felt before. Now I share that with the world! I am a Certified Life Coach & Co Founder of the “Herpes Could Never” movement. I am also a Licensed Esthetician, Air Force Veteran, and Entrepreneur. But above all I know that this is only possible because of my Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ! So I am just grateful for the opportunity to serve Him the way He saw fit to use me for His Glory! I done took us to church already!! Hahahaha!
Wow! Amber, you took us to church indeed. What a transformation this has been for you! I am just blown away at how God was/is able to use this life-changing event to help others in the same situation. Your story is truly amazing.
Now that you’ve shared your testimony, I got some questions for you girl! So let’s get into it!
Many times when people lack knowledge on a subject, they make assumptions instead of seeking the truth. What are the myths surrounding people living with genital herpes that you have had to debunk/educate others on?
That is a great question! I made a whole YouTube video on herpes myths alone because of how many that exist. So, of course I am going to suggest you check that out because I go into much more detail there. There are, however, a few MAIN ones that I see often that I can share.
The first one would be that everyone with herpes has physical symptoms/outbreaks. That is false. I am what is considered to be asymptomatic, which means I have no physical symptoms/outbreaks at this time. I only know of my herpes positive status because I had my blood tested at a doctor’s visit. After my fling with the IG crush evaporated as quickly as it started, I went to the doctor and asked “to be tested for everything”. When the test came back positive for hsv-2, I was shocked and uneducated about the virus. I would literally be sitting at home waiting for an outbreak because that is how I thought it worked. Most people spread the virus because they do NOT have symptoms, so that was something I wanted to debunk.
Another one is that you sex life/dating life is over. That one is tied to the stigma I am so passionate about breaking. Because it is just not true. Can having herpes change your dating life? Yes, it is possible. Is that change necessarily a bad thing? That is up for debate. Anyone who thinks having herpes will kill your dating life has not seen my DMs lol…just saying! So that myth needs to go ASAP as well!
Thank you so much for clearing up those misconceptions. I think it’s important to understand what a herpes diagnosis truly means, and I am happy to hear that anyone can still have a full life and meaningful relationships even after their diagnosis. That leads me to my next question…
Dating in this day and age is already so complicated. Did your outlook on dating change once you received your diagnosis? How do you navigate dating now?
Wow I am reading the questions as I respond and had no idea dating was the next topic! When I was first diagnosed, I thought my life (dating included) was over for sure. It hit me like a ton of bricks. That I was 33, recently ghosted, single, and childless and now I have herpes. But in doing the work I mentioned earlier, I discovered that my herpes status did not change any area of life in a negative way. It just magnified my true thoughts about myself in those areas.
That realization helped free me from thinking I was any less desirable as a romantic partner because of my diagnosis. Dating is a little different now that the world knows. I just have to trust God to know that the person I am meant to marry has the same level of IDGAF as I do.
I will say this, your herpes diagnosis has the ability to control your dating life based on how much energy that you choose to give it. So, when it comes to dating, give it the energy it really deserves. NONE!! Because if someone does not want you because of your herpes diagnosis, that is GOD protecting you!! Get out of His way.
That’s good, Amber! To sum it up, herpes doesn’t have to be a deal breaker, it’s all about perspective. That line of thinking can be applied to anything. Herpes is no different!
Were there moments when you felt like giving up or all hope was lost? If so, what inspired you to keep going in your darkest moments?
I was incredibly angry when I got the call that I had tested positive for herpes. My mind went a thousand different directions on how I wanted to deal with it. I felt all the feelings. I was so sad and depressed. Asking God why?! Why me? In those moments where I considered acting outside of myself, or even considering going back to him because at least he knew I had it.
What kept me was the belief that I had to recommit my life to Christ because I could no longer carry the weight of my decisions/shortcomings and He never wanted me to. So, I had to humbly submit my life to Him and where He was leading me and that is what got me through my darkest moments.
Wow…I can only imagine those feelings you felt on that day and I am so encouraged to hear that your relationship with God was what helped you through that time.
Along with solidifying your relationship with God, what tools did you use in your journey to healing and acceptance of your diagnosis?
I am seriously loving these questions lol!! So, there were a few key things that I shared with my coaching clients that I would love to share here! I immediately found a women’s devotional, because I knew I needed to make time with God a priority. I highly recommend one by Priscilla Shirer titled, “Awaken: 90 Days with the God who Speaks.” That daily time with God really helped build my trust in Him.
I also started saying positive affirmations out loud to myself every morning. It felt silly in the beginning, but by month two or three, I FELT them words baby!! I made a few of them up and got a few of them off the internet. Highly Recommended!
I started watching Tony Gaskins on YouTube. He is a Love & Relationship Life Coach, Christian, Husband, and Father. He helped me understand men more, which raised my confidence in that area. I prayed with more intention, I did more self-development, and I put effort into getting to know me/improve me for the first time in my life. It has been life changing far beyond breaking the herpes stigma.
Awesome tools your shared, Amber! It is so important we spend time investing in ourselves and doing the work needed to heal. It’s in challenging time like this, that we need tools like you mentioned at our disposal.
Pinpoint and describe the point when you realized you had transitioned from a victim to a victor. How long did it take you to come to that realization?
The moment would have to be when I decided to share my diagnosis with the world because I knew that was what God was calling me to do.
I also came to the realization that while I was thinking I was doing all this work on myself just to get to a point where I could live with my herpes, I had really broken a stronghold off of my life.
Because I was able to believe that I was more than what the herpes stigma said I was, I had the power and mental strength to get through anything. That with God, ALL things are possible. I decided that I wanted to no longer be a victim and I got up each morning and lived in a way that supported that belief.
So many gems you just dropped in those few statements. Sounds like you shifted your thoughts in the direction you wanted to go and you realized that being a victim was a choice, but so was being an overcomer. Mmph! That’s powerful!
Every story has a purpose, and we can all pull something valuable from someone’s story. What do you want other women to learn from your story?
As I mentioned in my testimony, my story is one of restoration. God restored my heart as if it had never been shattered into the millions of pieces that my diagnosis broke it in. He made my heart whole and I believe He did so because I went to Him with a sincere heart in the midst of my pain and asked with full faith that He would use my life for His Glory. I am a living witness of His works. Your heart is not beyond God’s hands! That is what I want other women to know. He is as close to you as your next breath.
God truly is a restorer and He will let nothing go to waste. We are never too far from God. Thank you for that reminder.
Community is vital in healing and understanding/accepting our circumstances. Describe the community you are a part of and the one you have created for others who share the same diagnosis.
These questions tho lol?! Yasss! When I first started building my community it was on a one-on-one basis through my coaching. After I released my initial herpes related video on YouTube, my now business partner reached out about collaborating and that is how Herpes Could Never was born.
The name Herpes Could Never is a cheeky saying to signify that your herpes status will NEVER be the thing that stops you from being great, finding love, having a career, or anything else you want to add here!! Take your pick because herpes could never!
Our mission statement is: We are at war with the Herpes stigma until our community feels comfortable being open about their status & proud of their sexuality. We just wrapped our first virtual retreat and it was UNBELIEVABLE! We have so many exciting things for our “Cousins”, (that is what we call our community).
You can find us on Instagram @herpescouldnever and at our website, www.herpescouldnever.com. We also have a LIT private community on Facebook (just search Herpes Could Never), where we really foster our community of healing, growth, and self-acceptance.
I love this, Amber! I’m sure you have given many people living with herpes the courage to walk out their truth unashamed and unapologetically. They are blessed to have someone like you to cheer them on and walk along side them on this journey of healing.
On one of your videos, I heard you say the statement “herpes saved my life”. Please explain what you mean by this.
That is the title of my YouTube video I made when I shared my herpes status with the world. I’ll be honest, I can not take credit for the name. It is all God. He just put those exact words on my heart one day. And they could not be any truer.
For me, herpes was THE opportunity that God used to get my attention because before being diagnosed, I NEVER thought it would be me. The girl that ended up with herpes. But God has a way of showing you who is God, and so my diagnosis stopped me in my tracks.
I was no longer able to run from my pain. I had to deal with my real issues because my life was depending on it. When I was first diagnosed, I saw no way out. I thought I would be better off dead, then to be living with this. For God to take me from that state of mind to the version of me who knows that the ONLY reason I know God (and myself) today is my herpes diagnosis, Herpes really did save my life.
I gave myself the space and time to heal. To allow God’s love to wash my mistakes and brokenness away. To build my confidence and self-love from the ground up. To be able to depend on and be proud of me. Life changing growth took place because I allowed what the enemy meant for evil to glorify the God who has all power in His hands.
Beautifully stated. I love how God can use even the not-so-good things that happen in our lives to heal us and to show us how deep His love for us runs, so much so that He allows us to benefit from our mistakes.
What inspired you to share your diagnosis with the world and how has it helped you to heal?
This one was God as well (lol), because truthfully the idea had never crossed my mind. There is absolutely no way I could imagine being here today when I was first diagnosed.
It was the countless conversations that I had with my one-on-one coaching clients that pushed me over the edge. For many of them, I was the first person they had ever talked openly about their diagnosis with and many of them had been herpes positive for years. That hit my heart hard. I knew there had to be other women who were suffering in silence.
God had put this tug on my heart to write my story down & record it for my channel. I had shared all these other personal stories about my past, but this was my biggest secret.
I no longer allowed the world the power to silence my purpose. I leaped and I have never looked back. It has been a daily healing experience since and I am so grateful.
You are a good example of how our obedience to God can open doors that we wouldn’t have ever imagined. One act of obedience can change the trajectory of not only your life, but the life of others connected to you.
Amber, you have given us such a wealth of information AND inspiration today! Where can we keep up with you and how can we support you on your current projects?
This has been such a fun interview! Thank you again for having me. I would love to help in any way to move your mission forward, so please let me know how I can serve you more.
You can keep up with me on Instagram @ambersprattjones and on YouTube as WatchAmber. For all the latest events, membership, coaching, etc, please visit www.herpescouldnever.com.
Lastly, my business partner and I wrote a journal specifically for the herpes community. The title is, “You Don’t Love Yourself”. Trigger Warning: It’s NOT your Herpes. The journal asks you super personal questions that will trigger your mind to explore what you really believe about yourself, your herpes, your beliefs, and more! You can find it on our website & on Amazon.
I always say, “This healing ain’t for everybody, but it IS for anybody.” You just have to be ready to show up and do the work for yourself. The first step is to accept it and then to trust God with it. Write your own story of healing from there. I appreciate your time & God Bless!
Ps…HERPES COULD NEVER!!!!!!
I hope everyone who read this interview has been able to glean something from what was shared today. I for one, can say that I am truly grateful to have heard such a powerful testimony of redemption and transformation.
Stay tuned for more inspirational testimonies from women of triumph in the “Yet She Still Smiles” blog edition!